What Am I Proud Of?

Painting of beautiful June, a tortoiseshell cat with ginger
and white patches.  #petportrait  #memorial

Okay, here it is.....

I have been an artist my whole life, since I was three years old, according to my mother. After finishing art school, I was an illustrator in some high visibility positions, such as creating information graphics for the Associated Press and also as a news graphics illustrator at WNBC-TV. The images that the artists at these companies created were, essentially, answers to a problem. Often these jobs required quick solutions, and certainly one did not feel that one's personal being was exposed. And while there was always a credit line somewhere, most people had no idea who created the work. The nature of the news, whether on television or in newspapers, means people saw the work for a few minutes at most, and then it was onto the next thing. It was exciting work and I loved it. Then, years into my career as an illustrator, a hand injury sidelined me from what had become pretty much a totally digital industry. (There's more to that story, but lets leave it at that for simplicity's sake right now).

So with this hand injury, I decided to go back to the kind of art I had grown up on, art done with pencils, paper, paint and canvases, as opposed to the mouse and monitor of modern news illustration. It took quite a while to get that going again. I was to experience that it's a different thing altogether creating an art practice after you've been out of art school for years and now have to work and handle other responsibilities. However, I just kept making work. I was drawing and painting and pretty much not showing anyone for many years. And here's the thing I'm proud of....I kept making work, even though I had always thought of myself as an illustrator, I was becoming a fine artist. And not because I was learning to draw for the first time. I knew how to draw and had many, many years of practice under my belt. Although letting go of that "I already know that" mentality allowed me to go back to doing some life drawing again and had the glorious experience of seeing my drawing continue to evolve and get better.

What was also changing was how I thought of myself. I came up against many internal blocks and limiting ideas about what I thought I was doing. These internal challenges were coming up because, to me, the work I was doing had no reason to exist except that I wanted to create them. No one asked me to do them. Even though my work would be considered "good," I didn't feel an internal comfort with this situation.

But here's the thing.....I kept doing it. There's more to this part of the story as well, which I hope to be able to delve into and explain in future posts. I think there may be a gold mine of inspiration in some of the deeper issues that came up during this long period of gestation and experimentation and incubation. 

Okay, still, here is the thing that I am proud of these days. In March of 2016 I made a commitment to show my work, somewhere, every month. It didn't matter where: a cafe, a library, an office. I wasn't sending my work out to galleries, and still don't right now. But I committed to show my work in this do-it-yourself way, and I think part of why that was most comfortable for me, was that I was and am still finding my voice. Showing the work in this low pressure kind of way was enough. It was a challenge actually, to make sure I had enough pieces to fill some large wall spaces. And then to be able to speak about the work, which I did for each exhibit.

So yes, starting with March 2016 and going through to May 2017, I had my work up somewhere in my small city. There were some successful exhibits where I sold quite a few pieces and some venues were quieter with less exposure, and thus less sales. A lot of people saw my work, and that was a challenge for me to get comfortable with. But I did it. During this period, I started promoting myself as a pet portraitist, which has been a success as far as I am concerned. I haven't found that sweet spot yet, where the people find me and just have to have a portrait, but I am preparing for that possibility! Till then, I just keep hustling and promoting my portraits.....It may sound silly to say, but I like my pet portraits! I also like the direction that some of my other work is going in, less portrait but definitely inspired by animals and nature.

So I am proud of myself for up-leveling myself and my business as a professional artist and for taking a chance to show my work as well as to speak and write about it. I think the real accomplishment in all of these things is having found my way to being authentic, even if I'm not feeling so sure of myself. There is definitely a place for uncertainty and insecurity when being authentic! I am far from finished with this journey, but to have plundered and blundered through through years of the internal as well as external challenges of pursuing a painting career is turning out to feel like it was worth it.

Thanks for reading! Please follow my blog (the button to do so is to the right. If on your phone, it may be at the bottom) and be sure to visit my website to sign up for art and inspirational writing about creativity, productivity and authenticity delivered right into your inbox.

Trying Too Hard

Just last night, I was thinking about the term "trying too hard." Often, when you keep "trying" to do or get something and don't seem to succeed, people will recommend that you stop trying "too hard." This is one of those ways that deep spiritual concepts show up in many people's everyday thoughts. Without realizing, perhaps, what they are referring to, they are acknowledging that when one "tries" to do or attain something, one is actually affirming their feeling separate from what it is they desire. The advice to "stop trying too hard" is a "disguise" for finding your oneness with everything. That is the "secret" to attaining your hearts desires. When you want to lose weight, find love, achieve in your career, build relationships...all these things elude the person who sees them as separate from themselves. If you see them already as a part of you, you relax into that knowledge and your behavior will demonstrate that you have indeed stopped "trying" too hard. Grasping for anything, in its various permutations is usually considered socially unattractive, but underneath that is the truth that it demonstrates a belief in lack and separateness. Next time you feel that familiar tension that means you are trying hard to "get" something, relax, rest in the knowledge that it already exists in your world and trust it to move toward you when you stop trying "too hard."

Divesting Stuff and Discovering Magic

Well ok haven't written for a while, but I've been so busy....as you will see below.

I moved twice since December. (The why's and wherefores of that are a story for another day) In preparing for both moves, I did a lot of purging, what I like to call "divesting" stuff.

Two blogs that have interesting takes on the subject of reducing one's possessions and from whom I've gotten a bit of inspiration (even though they are both more advanced compared to myself)
http://rowdykittens.com
http://www.farbeyondthestars.com

There are many, many more people out there in cyberland who are teaching and practicing this new way of living the good life, but these two are the ones I first came across on the contemporary blog scene and have learned a lot from.

For me, it is still the beginning of a journey to "stufflessness." In the meantime, what I continue to discover is that by divesting myself of stuff, I truly do experience:
A) a sense of liberation
B) a clearer mind
C) a feeling of being energized

It does require some courage, though, because the mind is tricky and will make you think that you need the thing you are about to purge. If you can just be strong and either throw it out or give it away, you may have some wonderful experiences such as I have had on this adventure. Well, they are wonderful after a brief period of them being perturbing. But the wonderful part that comes after the perturbing part is really, truly wonderful. Here is one example:

Let's say that you have something you've been saving because you tell yourself you might need it someday. You've had it for years and haven't ever found a need for it, yet you struggle with some anxiety in getting rid of it. You finally find the courage to throw it out. Ironically, a day or two later there actually arises a circumstance where that thing finally would have come in handy. This is the part where you find yourself feeling somewhat perturbed, anxious or something equally uncomfortable. You thought that throwing the thing out would have settled the initial anxiety, but here it is again.

Try this: Sit still with the feelings that arise with this experience. Feel them. Feel how they are making their presence known through the sensations in various parts of your body. Give this a few minutes. You will be surprised how quickly they pass if you give them some breathing room. Then, tell yourself that you will come up with a more creative way to solve whatever problem that thing was going to remedy. And then try to keep track of the next few days, because what will probably happen is that the need you thought you had will actually dissipate without you even noticing. You might not even be able to remember what the thing was that you threw out!

It's like magic. And in a way it is...it's the magic of your mind. You thought you would need it so you did. When you thought you might be ok without it, you were.

This is just one of the wonderful things I have learned on my "Divestment Journey." There's lots more. It has helped me enormously as an artist, and I will be writing that in my next post. Which will be soon!

Good morning, maiden blog voyage, my website

Good morning! It is 4:06 am on Sunday November 15, 2009. I am up. Up, up, up. Not the sleepiest in the least. So, hey I thought...why not start one of those blog things I've been hearing so much about. They are all the rage, I hear.

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a visual artist who thinks very deep thoughts, am sometimes moody and brooding. But I am also a very outgoing and social person who loves comedy and can even be pret-teh funny myself at times. I will be making comments on this blog on an eclectic assortment of subjects for years to come. Please read on and be sure to come back for more in a few days or so......

Till recently, I have been pretty much an under-achieving visual artist because first of all, I almost never showed my art to anyone until this past year. And I am way up there in age, people. Had a website for years and never sent the link out to anyone! Now for all the world to see, here it is in case you'd you'd like to have a gander. http://industryh.tripod.com/

I made that site using one of the available templates on the host. Most of the templates were hideous, I thought, so I used just a plain black which I think works nicely. There is a form near the bottom of the home page where you can enter your email address and be put on my mailing list for EXCITING updates and special things just for my contact list. Visually, the design of the form leaves much to be desired, due to lack of options at the back end with the host. But it does the job, so please do fill it out and say "hey!"http://industryh.tripod.com/

Nothing lets me know you care like letting me know you want my fabulous newsletter. It will contain cool things like deep thoughts (special deep thoughts, ones that I won't be sharing with just anyone like here on the blog) and other fun and interesting things.

I am planning a new website in the near future with more recent artwork I've been doing. Plus! Within the next few days, I am opening an Etsy shop with some groovalicious earrings I am making. Etsy.com is the site for all things homemade!!! You will be able to search for me as a seller with the name drawingonthemoon.

So I'm happy. I wrote my first blog post. Thanks for reading it. Please leave me nice comments. Have a mahhvelous day!